One

We’ll call him Mason. He had stumbled over to the Care Fair out of curiosity and found people who would give him dignity. It was obvious he was surprised, almost stunned. He had not gotten the reception that he expected. Usually, people shied away from him especially people that were a different color. Honestly, everyone stayed away from Mason. Years of drug abuse and entertaining other demons had almost robbed him of his humanity.

My vantage point gave me the opportunity to watch the street traffic as well as the people coming and going during the Care Fair. It was interesting to me that *Mason had parked his bike across the street. The rule of the street is: If you want to keep it, keep it close. Mason had parked his bike and walked across to the Care Fair. He was undoubtedly a person of the street, he knew the rule—why wasn’t he following it? Mason fumbled with the buttons on his shirt like a youthful executive during his primary review. As if on cue, his steps shortened and his jaw tightened as he walked past the volunteer with the Care Fair information. Everything about him gave reason for concern. The prayer that slipped from my heart to the throne room of Heaven made more sense to me than trying to out step our latest Care Fair attendee. This disheveled man with the empty eyes and a severe scowl may have evil intent but he was not in charge. The God of the universe, the creator of Heaven and Earth is always listening; it is comforting to know that the control is His.

Care Fairs are a kaleidoscopic statement to the community that we are anxious to meet them, introduce them to the ONE who changed our lives totally and eventually serve their community alongside them. At Care Fairs there are games, food and give-a-ways in a festival atmosphere. During the look for a would-be disturbance, the not so proud owner of a skinned knee pulled at my shirt. After solving the crisis by applying some major first aid equipment, a band-aid, it was time to locate our troubled guest. By this time, there was a steady stream of people. They were meeting volunteers, reaching for the hands of their children and anticipating a fun Saturday morning that would not disturb their wallets.

Finding Mason would not be simple but with each person that joined us, finding this angry young man became more necessary. Much planning and hard work goes into the execution of a Care Fair. One of those strategic steps is prayer for provision and protection. The rapid wandering from point to point looking for the misplaced young man combined with meeting and greeting brought a renewed gratitude for that vital prayer covering. Everything was fine. The God of Heaven was certainly on the morning shift (Psalm 121) and my fretting was an exercise in futility. It seemed that Mason melted into the activity, he was nowhere to be found.

My apprehension over the tight jawed attendee was soon replaced with giving directions to the sno-cone stand and the clothing closet. This was the perfect day: beautiful weather, anxious volunteers, uplifting music, various activities and curious people. This was the combination we had prayed for and seeing it unfold was terrific. The familiar voice accompanied with a tap on the shoulder brought a surprise. Turning around abruptly placed my nose just a couple of feet away from the rumpled, soiled shirt that had been the object of my intense search. Simultaneously trying to extend my hand, produce a sincere greeting and camouflage the shock on my face took a little juggling.

Flanked by volunteers that could not have been more his opposite Mason reached his leathered, ashen, unkempt hand to mine. What happened next brought a heavy mixture of shame and joy. As the volunteers explained bits of the story he had shared with them, Mason ducked his head. It seems that he had almost passed the Care Fair, afraid that he would not be welcomed. There would be time to hear the details but for now, he wanted out of the hell that plagued him. Mason (said) he wanted a new life. His eyes that had seemed almost reptilian, an hour before, were brimming with tears. While nervously, pulling up his sleeve to show ravenous scarring from repeated self-mutilating episodes with a sharp blade, Mason kept begging, “I need help, Mam—I really need help.”

We would take him to a safe place for the night. He would get a hot shower, a good meal and a much-needed night’s sleep. We would begin making phone calls and Mason could be in an appropriate treatment facility within six weeks. If a person clears the waiting time, they have a good chance of successfully completing a program. Waiting for a slot in treatment is one of the most difficult parts of rehabilitation. One volunteer stood with him while he gave us random information. The other went to get hamburgers for our hungry friend. An updated wild man of Gadera (Mark 5) was standing before us. The words “cutting himself and sitting among the tombs” was exactly how he had spent the last 10 years of his existence. The same Jesus who restored sanity to the demoniac could heal Mason’s deep inward pain evidenced by the outward scars.

According to Mason, he “stayed” a couple of blocks from the church. We were familiar with the house that he described and were not surprised that this was where he had landed. He would take the bike back; it did not belong to him. He would make a phone call to his grandmother; she would be so happy that he was going to get help. Mason would get some clothes together and be back in a few minutes. The volunteers that waited for Mason were very discouraged when, he did not return.

Since Mason’s explanation of his plans was all too familiar; my expectations were not as vulnerable. Our encounter with Mason was very successful. He did not leave the way that he came. Mason carried away intangibles that he will not escape. Mason will not be able to get “high” enough to erase the scripture that The Shepherd’s Staff volunteers shared with him. The streets of Montgomery seemed to have swallowed him up and he is once again hidden like he was at the Care Fair. However, the memory of our unexpected welcome and the kindness that he was shown will come to mind when he least expects it. A seed of hope was planted in hard soil that warm spring day. All the planning and preparation, all the hard work and tedious coordination, all the efforts of the volunteers and support of the church members may have been orchestrated in Heaven so that one hardened drug addicted “nobody” (society’s perspective) could come face to face with Truth. One is a huge number in Heaven.

beach

Thanks to the generosity of friends, we are able to spend a few quiet days enjoying the unique beauty of Choctawhatchee Bay in northern Florida. We look forward to our time at the bay. This place is so much more than a vacation destination. The memories of laughter, fierce competition of during crab hunts and Frisbee football, failed attempts at meeting the sunrise or dealing with splinters offer an open armed welcome to the presenting moments. Life is savored at the bay house, anticipated—enjoyed. Time, as it is sure to do, raced past us without apology and this was our first visit back to the bay since Hurricane Katrina made her devastating swath. The shoreline had endured a radical change; yet it was just at beautiful if not more so than before.

Interestingly, the occupants that held their own during the storm were not the majestic pines that strikingly created a postcard picture upon approach to the beach house or the weathered palms that created a tropical atmosphere for anxious beachgoers. The amazing sentinels that held ground as Katrina’s surge waters pelted this part of the Gulf Coast were the wiry saw grasses, the sea oats and various other non descript forms of vegetation. They were unheralded guards captured in photographs because they happened to flank the front of the beach house. The grasses stood, unnoticed by a grand majority of the people walking on or past them everyday. Yet, if this faded, worn, faithful, tough old grass had not stood the storms life had thrown at them, I wouldn’t be enjoying this lovely gray morning from my seat here in the beach house.

What a picture of parenting. There’s a great possibility that most retreating to this wonderful place will never be grateful for the weathered vegetation posted between the water’s edge and the condo. It is highly unlikely that the visitors making the trek to the bay will be grateful for the tough tendrils that have to be navigated through or cut back to get to the water’s edge. However, it’s these unsung heroes that the Creator uses to hold the ground tightly during the storm. These bland, spindly, weathered watchmen are part of the grand scheme of divine intervention that keeps the bay house on solid ground.

Many times as a parent I feel like a faded, discarded nuisance, much like the grass around the bay house. Lord, thank you for this amazing illustration. Thank you for the opportunity to touch generations I will not know. Remind me to faithfully keep my place, fulfilling your call, perhaps buffering those who rarely (if ever) acknowledge my worth from certain ruin. Thank you for holding life in the palm of your hand—without fanfare and (unfortunately) much of the time without acknowledgment. Thank you for the salt air and a renewed sense of purpose and resolve.

breathe....

Many years ago, it became apparent that there was no reason to make New Year’s Resolutions because I always drop them somewhere along the way—especially those having to do with self-care: weight loss, relaxation time and general self-improvement. Touting wise time management prowess, it just made sense to gain knowledge from serious exercise gurus while reclining and eating my favorite chocolate dessert thus covering all three areas in a single bound. That single bound usually found me in a guilty fat heap covering my head and vowing that there would not be a next time—until the next time.

Resolutions made in the dead of winter were doomed anyway. However, spring was another story. So, I recruited a friend with a ton of knowledge, a head full of expertise and years of combat experience in the battle of the bulge. Knowing me well, my wise friend gave me small reachable goals. I have read a few hundred times that those (small, reachable goals) work. The first week we reduced caffeine intake and stopped eating after seven o’clock. (After midnight snacks do not count—you go by the day. It is not necessary to be so technical). My water intake was good. It figures, the one thing in the weight loss regime that I have under my belt (no pun intended), water consumption has been scientifically proven not to make a difference. I say “hogwash” to that discouraging propaganda. Water consumption has long been standing alone in my positive column and by George, it ain’t moving. Anyway, I clicked the list off with great resolve, caffeine reduction….check. Not eating after seven (technically) ….check.

A week into my new lifestyle and I was feeling pretty pumped, still very plump but pretty pumped. Anyway, I should have known that the torture would soon ensue. My kind-hearted friend smiled as she came toward me with a book of “how-to” exercise pictures and a box of bands. I am not kidding; my friend carried a box of giant-sized rubber bands. She handed me a section and started coaching. I watched my mild mannered friend turn into an insurgent on a mission and I was the target. Tiny muscles that I did not know existed sprang to attention—screaming mild obscenities and begging for mercy. Larger muscles woke from their extended hibernation rubbing their eyes in disbelief and horror. In unison my revolting body sang out, “What on earth do you think you are doing?” My valiant attempt at reassuring the choir in my head that all was well and that this was very good for us—was interrupted by my friend, turned drill sergeant ordering, “Breathe, you have to breathe.” My brain, oxygen deprived or not, had an “aha” moment.

That was the glitch. I had been racing through life on auto pilot; meeting needs, fielding demands, and making deadlines. Even vacation plans were attached to a list, systematically hacked away and completed without even realizing that the vacation had come and gone. Breathe. I did not know how to breathe. Obviously, the mechanics masterfully locked in by creative genius had operated correctly for quite some time. However, I did not know how to really breathe….to enjoy a sunrise without racing the clock; to hold my child tightly and enjoy the scent of a freshly showered mop of hair without rushing him away to an undone chore; I did not know how to breathe. No wonder “me” resolutions were impossible. They were just one more weight tied to an already worn out neck, one more thing to do.

Today, I can’t say that the scales register a result that thrills my heart or takes the stress off my zipper. I am a work in progress. I will probably have an “under construction” sign around my neck when I step into Heaven. Nevertheless, that spring afternoon that my muscles refer to as their “near death experience” taught me a great deal about savoring life and really breathing.